The Most Gentle Things [Nakahara Kids] ●

[Nikolai Maksim]

Beads of sweat budded on a pale brow before a slightly shaking hand ushered them away. He was aware his pulse was up. It resigned itself to gong in his ears should he think to ignore it anyways. Lips cycled between a pressed line and an uncomfortable wordless parting. He was vaguely aware he needed to pay attention to the words the woman across the desk was saying, yet for all his calm in the court room, all his mastery of stressful situations and paperwork, nothing could have prepared Nikolai for this moment. He understood that all too well now.

It had started at Christmas in the form of a small but alarming comment. Who was it that had said he would be thirty one this year? Who was it that had joked that by his own words, he should have been married and starting a family of his own by now? He didn’t remember now, couldn’t remember. Surely he had laughed it off, said he would go about his own life on his own time, something similar. However, the closer and closer it came to his thirty first birthday, the more and more aware Nikolai had become that he had yet to start a family. The moment yet another year had been marked in his life, he felt the kindling of strange panic. He had yet to find the one, didn’t date frequently if at all in the last few years if he was honest with himself, yet was old enough to have children by now.

Perhaps Nikolai had scrambled a bit too much to start looking into alternatives, a sort of instant gratification, maybe. However, when he came across an adoption page, suddenly the world seemed to fall into place. He had siblings that were adopted. He knew the procedures and rules already. He was stable enough financially to afford a child or two, and certainly he had a few guest rooms in his pent house. All too many thoughts had occurred at once right then and there, and he had picked up the phone that very day to ask for more information. Within a week’s time, he had a social worker starting to look for possible compatible children. It was also a week later that he admitted to the rest of his family that he had started looking for children.

It had taken more time than he had expected for the social worker to find a possible candidate, or rather, candidates. A group of three had “lost” their parents, or rather their parents had disappeared during the event. He learned quite a bit about them without ever having met them. They seemed nice enough, and after a bit of extra training seminars, he was finally ready to meet them. Now back to that predicament, Nik was finding in that moment. Stressed there he sat waiting as the woman behind the desk conferred with him over things they had gone over before. She was a nice enough woman, he had come to know through the various conversations they had had. However, at that particular moment, she might as well have been a prosecutor for the strange nerves he felt. It was too ironic for reason.

“Now that we’ve gone over that, would you like to come and meet them?” the woman asked. Nik snapped from his daze, before rather quickly standing up. “I would like to,” he answered simply before an exchange of nods was given. With that, the woman stepped sideways around her desk and opened a door to the right. Following after her, Nikolai allowed his gaze to shift around the further interior of the children’s home where they were waiting for him. Taking a smooth breath in, he followed her to a play room. Stepping inside, he allowed his gaze to transverse the room once before finally settling on them for the first time. These were the Nakahara children.

Makoto Nakahara
Shizuko Nakahara
Katsu Nakahara

[Katsu Nakahara]

The first time that Katsu had been told that there was someone who was looking to adopt them, he had been confused and a little concerned. He wasn't sure what "adopting" was or if it was a bad thing or a good thing. Were they in trouble for something? Did they do something wrong? What did it mean to be "adopted" anyway? When it was explained that it was basically getting a new mommy or daddy, Katsu was admittedly upset at first and asked if that meant their real mommy and daddy weren't coming back.

Despite being told not to countless times, Katsu often stayed up past his bedtime just to see if they would come back and get them. They never did though and Katsu was left wondering anew if he had done something wrong to make them leave. Worse, his memories of them were beginning to fade and that scared Katsu a lot. He didn't want to forget them and would ask his siblings a lot of questions about what they could remember to ensure he didn't. Though maybe this new daddy would be nice, Katsu hoped he would be but the more he thought about it, the more concerned he grew. What if this new daddy didn't like him, what if he told them no...what if he disappeared just like their real mommy and daddy?

As the day of the meeting grew closer, Katsu grew more excited about meeting their 'new daddy' as he referred to him despite his siblings' protests. It was just too hard to think about the person coming to see them any other way, especially when the lady looking after them had been sure to explain what it meant to be adopted by someone. It sounded just like when they were living with their real mommy and daddy so what was the difference? Was there a reason why he shouldn't call the person coming that? These were questions that nobody readily had an answer to, or at least not in a way he understood. Nevertheless, Katsu was determined to make this new daddy like them.

When the day finally came to meet this new daddy, Katsu, Makoto, and Shizuko were brought into a room filled with toys and all sorts of neat things and told to wait. Well, waiting was the hard part and Katsu couldn't sit still for more than a minute if that before he was looking over the toys and all sorts of fun things. He even found a coloring book and a box of crayons that had more colors than he had ever seen before! After excitedly showing his siblings and rambling on about all the cool things in the room, Katsu started to color in the book, frowning a little in concentration as he did his best to make sure that this Buzz Lightyear, for that was what he'd been told was the character he was coloring, would look the best ever! He even tried to stay in the lines, really he did but it was just more fun to go outside the lines. Once Buzz was finished, he started coloring the background with every color in the box, creating a pretty rainbow in the background. Rainbows were his favorite thing to draw, they were really easy to draw after all and didn't take long to do.

It would be a while before Katsu realized that there was someone else in the room and looked up to see the 'new daddy' had finally come. His eyes grew wide at just how big he was and his hair was as white as snow. The lady that had told Katsu the new daddy was coming but Katsu paid her no heed as he looked at this man with awe-filled eyes. With the coloring book in hand, Katsu ran over to where the new daddy was and pulled on his pants leg, looking up at him with all the seriousness a five-year old could muster."Aw you da new daddy, mithtah?"Katsu asked almost somberly. This lasted only moments before remembering his coloring book and broke into a big smile, revealing a gap in his mouth where his two front teeth had not yet grown in yet. "Oh! I make Buzz pwetty, thee?"Katsu exclaimed excitedly before showing the coloring book to him, all reservations he had over meeting this man completely forgotten.

[Shizuko Nakahara]

The woman nodded and turned away just in time as Katsu decided he wanted to explore the room and its treasure trove of toys. Shizuko pursed her lips and closed her eyes and tried to blank her mind again. If she barfed on the guy, she'd ruin everything. It was no use though. All she saw was the reoccurring dream she'd been having of being adopted. The dreams always turned into nightmares as the people took her brothers away and left her behind, even though she knew that they were being adopted out as a family. Those assurances did little to squelch her fears. Who would want her anyway? She was loud and obnoxious, after all, but she had to try.

Her hands held her belly as a bout of nausea came and went. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. Her eyes opened and her lips pressed together. 'Please.... not now!' The guy was going to be here any minute! If she gets sick they'll cancel the meeting!. Her eyes closed again. 'No! I'm not going to be sick, damn it! I'm not!!!...' she thought and willed herself healthy as she opened her eyes. She was going to make it work. It was going to be different this time. She'd said inappropriate things the last few times someone had come to see them, and they seemed to loose interest or something afterwards. It was her, It had to be her!. Katsu was just cute and adorable. Who could possibly not like him? Shizu was blind to his medical problems which might have been more of the cause for people to have second thoughts, but to Shizuko, Katsu was just a little frail, nothing more. And Makoto was quiet and well behaved. Who would have a problem with him?. She was the one that caused all the trouble.

Katsu returned to tell her and Mako about all the cool stuff he'd found. It was the distraction she needed to get a hold of herself. Shizu smiled. It was genuine. It always was for her brothers. She giggled lightly at his excited rant about a toy story coloring book he found. She watched him spread it out on the floor and start to color. Her mind drifted off again as she thought about the past.

Katsu standing caught her eye, and tore her from her thoughts as she followed his line of sight. The man in the doorway made her breath catch. White hair and sapphire blue eyes had her awed. He had a kind face, and was tall as a giant! It threw her so off her guard that when her little brother asked him if he was their new daddy, she failed to suppress the knee-jerk reaction. Anger shot up and got the better of her. As her little brother showed him his coloring book, she blew up.

"Katsu! That is not our da--" She blurted out before the slapping sound of her hand clamping over her mouth to stop herself was heard. She paled, her eyes loosing focus. She'd done it again! Why?.... Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut. Why was she always quick to get angry about this?. Fear's icy tendrils wrapped around her heart. She just stood there staring at the man with wide eyes that welled with tears as she saw her nightmare coming true before her eyes. Yes, that man was not their real dad, but.... What exactly was she holding on to? They'd been abandoned. They didn't deserve her loyalty.

She shook her head slowly as her memories of them shattered in her mind.

'THEY'RE GONE!' She mentally shouted. 'AND THEY'RE NEVER COMING BACK!!' She finally admitted. She'd finally came to terms with their situation, and with that the chains holding her to her past broke. The nausea disappeared along with the weight of the past.

"Gomennasai!" She croaked an apology in Japanese instead of English. She didn't even realize she was using her native tongue. She could no longer think past the word 'Dogeza' that popped into her mind. She wanted to kneel directly on the ground and bow to prostrate herself with her hands flat on the floor hand and her head resting on them, but she was simply frozen in place. Could she not even apologize properly? Would he walk away? "Gomennasai, Daddy." she squeaked, unable to think of anything else she could do. 'Please... don't take them from me. Don't leave me here alone' she continues in thoughts that never made it to voice. Her lips trembled as she searched for something.. Anything, she could do or say that would make up for her blunder. In the end she simply turned around and ran off to bury her head in the couch cushions to cry.


Nikolai Maksim
Katsu Nakahara

[Makoto Nakahara]

lay me down

Makoto sat stiffly as he waited for the man to show up. He and his siblings had already been placed in the room to meet with who his younger brother stubbornly referred to as their ‘new daddy’. Makoto hated it when he said that. It made him feel oddly ill, and angry, which were two things he rarely felt toward his siblings. Still, he simply pressed his lips into a tight line every time the phrase left his brother’s lips. He had tried to explain to him several times, and failed, and as the date had grown closer and closer, he had simply become too nervous to repeat himself anymore. Tiny, pale hands were clenched together in his lap, his back perfectly straight. The eldest sibling didn’t want new parents, he wanted his old parents back, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He also knew it would be better to live with this man than to continue living in the orphanage. At least it wouldn’t be as loud anymore.

Sharp golden eyes watched as his sister pressed her hands into her stomach. She was nervous too. She didn’t have to speak for him to know this, she made it obvious by her actions. Just as Katsu made it obvious that he wasn’t nervous at all. He likely wasn’t old enough to be nervous yet. Everyone was a friend to his younger brother, which in turn made him more nervous. Makoto had done his best to parent his siblings in the orphanage, done his best to keep them out of trouble, but he was still a child himself – even if that fact was easy to forget with how he behaved.

He turned his attention to Katsu as the smaller boy ran around the room and looked at all of the toys. Makoto himself wasn’t in the mood for playing, but he could barely remember the last time he had been. Either way, he smiled encouragingly as Katsu told them about the toys, his voice sounding genuinely excited as he returned conversation briefly before his brother got down to the very serious business of coloring. His gaze returned to the hands in his lap thereafter, and would not rise again until the man walked through the door.

The first thing he felt was intimidated. The man was tall. He was much, much taller than their real father had been, and much taller than any of their uncles, cousins, or basically any of the men in their family. Of course, Makoto had only met his extended family once, but still. He was so very tall. Though as his gaze finally fell on his face, he calmed slightly. The man’s face was normal, it was nice. His eyes were really pretty. Makoto liked blue, it was a very calming color. He used it a lot.

The man’s eyes could be the calmest color in the world, but that didn’t stop the train wreck that ensued mere moments after he stepped into the room. Katsu was already running up to him, didn’t even introduce himself… already calling him ‘daddy’. The disapproval on his features as his lips pressed into a fine line would be impossible to miss if the white-haired man happened to look over at him. But then, as if that wasn’t enough, Shizuko was standing up and speaking. No, no, no. Was she calling him daddy too? He sat so still for a moment, seemingly a statue. His heart was pounding in his head. ‘You have to fix this for them, you have to!’ He told himself, taking a deep breath as he forced himself to his feet.

By that point in time, however, his sister had already run off toward the couch. Wide eyes traveled from her to Katsu and the man. An almost unnoticeable tremor ran through his body as he tried to decide what to do. This was too much. This was way too much. Finally, he spoke, his tone quiet but firm, “Katsu, please remember your manners.” Golden eyes moved upward toward the man’s face. “Please excuse them.” He mumbled. He wasn’t embarrassed about what his siblings had done, really, but he knew they were both technically being rude. He made his way over to the couch thereafter, sitting next to his sister to rub her back soothingly. “Shizuko, its fine. Please don’t cry.” He certainly wanted to cry at this point, but he swallowed his emotions back, focusing on his siblings instead, as he always had.

Nikolai Maksim

[Nikolai Maksim]

In the arena of the court room, Nikolai prided himself with his mastery of facial expressions. He could be as serene as he desired or as intimidating as he saw fit. In this case? He could barely think let alone control his features. In the back of his mind, he fumbled with words. What had he planned to say to them? What was he supposed to say to them? Anxious eyes darted from one face to the next as his mind grasped at fallen straws of conversation. Vaguely, he was aware the woman had stepped back as if to give him space to talk with them.

The youngest, what was his name? Kat…Katya- no Katsu, broke the ice. Closing the distance between them, the boy had gripped his dress pant leg and given a tug. Instantly, Nik’s eyes dropped, and suddenly what anxiety had persisted in his features smoothed itself over. A child, that was what this was before him. No, not a child, a baby. Katsu was five, a kinder gardener. Nik remembered now. A soft smile slowly blossomed upon the man’s face thereafter, and as the boy spoke, Nik crouched down to hear him better.

The seriousness in the child’s face was almost comical, yet the question that came from those small lips earned a look of surprise. Nikolai hadn’t expected to be called anything remotely similar to ‘daddy’ right off the bat. More than that, he’d been told it was often better to introduce himself by his first name- especially to older children. He didn’t have a chance to think on it further, however, as the exclamation hit the air. Glancing down at the paper for a moment, he allowed himself to gaze over the picture.

Nikolai had been about to comment upon it when a different voice hit the air. What words he’d been about to say were forgotten as his attention was seized, and Nik fought the urge to cringe as he understood the words that had been ushered out. The sister, Shizuko- yes Shizuko, had spoken them, had reprimanded the youngest, or at least started to. All too easily, he understood why. Words had budded on his lips but halted at the foreign apology.

As a lawyer, Nikolai had learned many foreign words apart from his home tongue of Russian and standard English. There was a myriad of cultures he had to address, and knowing formalities was a necessity for delegation. Even though he had not known Japanese specifically initially, upon learning the children were second generation immigrants, he strove to learn at least the basics. What he knew was still very little, but in that moment, he recognized the slurred apology at least.

Sorry? She was sorry for the…outburst? The reaction? As Shizuko repeated the word and added the title. He was sure now that it was an apology, and lips pressed into a gentle frown. A hand had raised itself, in some attempt to catch her as the girl turned and ran despite Nikolai already knowing she was too far away. Watching as she darted over and broke into sobs, Nikolai slowly stood again. He’d been about to take a step in the girl’s direction when yet another voice had spoken up, and Nik’s attention had shifted once more. The eldest, Makoto, had assumed a tone not unlike his own in many ways, and Nikolai found himself straightening just a bit upon hearing it. ‘Please excuse them’ was what was spoken to him in particular. Lips pressed together. Of all the possibilities, this was not what Nikolai had imagined it would be.

Watching as the boy drew over to his sister and attempted to be comforting, Nikolai exhaled slowly before glancing down to Katsu. Raising a hand, he gently ruffled the boy’s hair, offering a brief smile before attempting to take his free hand and close the distance to the couch. “You don’t have to call me ‘Daddy’,” he spoke upon getting within a decent distance. Words were coming easier now, though whether it was from a deflation of stress from the youngest’s warmth or his natural instincts returning to him, he knew not which.

“My name is Nikolai, Nikolai Maksim. I’m not sure what the caretakers told you about me,” Nik continued finding himself half kneeled again, about level with the couch now. “But you can call me Nik, if you want,” he attempted to offer a smile at that. Though he had spoken carefully, a minor accent persisted in Nikolai’s voice, as it always had and probably always would. Russian would always be his first language, after all. “I would… like to get to know you better, if that’s alright,” he finished a bit louder thereafter. That free hand raised again, offering a simple handshake out between the two children. He hoped at least one of them would reach for it back.

[Katsu Nakahara]

When the man knelt down to his level, Katsu noticed briefly just how blue the 'new daddy's' eyes were. They reminded him of the ocean with how clear they were, like that trip on the boat when they had gotten to see their family. He remembered how blue and clear the water had been and how much fun it had been to watch the dolphins chase the waves. Even that memory was fading now but perhaps he could make new memories with this 'new daddy'! This is what prompted the first question about him being the 'new daddy' he had heard so much about. The 'new daddy' looked surprised at the question, was that bad? Did he not know what the lady had told him about why he was coming?

What fear and uncertainty might have showed on Katsu's face was washed away when he remembered the coloring book and promptly showed the 'new daddy' what he had been working on while he'd been waiting. It didn't even cross Katsu's mind that he hadn't given the 'new daddy' time to answer his first question before showing the coloring book. He was just so excited that he had finally came that Katsu had promptly forgotten about it and well, he had never been the most patient when it came to waiting. The 'new daddy' looked at the picture and looked like he was going to say something when suddenly Shizuko yelled Katsu's name. Alarmed, Katsu looked at his sister with an almost terrified expression, wondering what he had done wrong. All he had done was show the nice daddy the picture he had been working on...

He had been about to say he was sorry when something changed and now she was crying? It all happened so fast that Katsu didn't know what to do at first but then Makoto spoke up, chastising him again. Why? He hadn't done anything wrong! What was so bad about showing a picture? Katsu's lower lip trembled under the glower of his oldest brother and he would have certainly started crying had not the nice daddy ruffled his hair. Instead of the tears that had threatened to form, a giggle escaped Katsu's lips as his hand was engulfed in the nice daddy's much larger hand before they walked over to the couch where his siblings were at.

The first thing that the nice daddy had said was confusing, they didn't have to call him Daddy? But wasn't that what he was going to be? He was going to take them away and they could all be happy again just like before! "...you be new daddy?Katsu asked again, despite the outburst from Shizuko earlier. He liked this nice daddy after all, even if they had just met he wasn't scared of Shizuko and Makoto liked him too right? "We play now?"Katsu asked, looking between his siblings and the nice daddy to see if that was ok.

It was only after he asked about playing that Katsu realized that Shizuko still seemed upset and reached up to pat what part of her he could reach. "Dehr dehr...Thithy k?"Katsu asked in a worried voice before offering the precious coloring book to her,"Take, make Thithy bettah," he explained, smiling once again as if sharing the treasure he had found would somehow make everything better again.

~~~

Shizuko Nakahara

[Shizuko Nakahara]

She'd been too nervous and too busy trying so hard to contain her thoughts to notice that her big brother was also nervous. Her eyes had been on her care-free, go-lucky little brother instead, when she was not otherwise lost in thought. Everything after her outburst was a blur. Shizuko had run away, not knowing what else to do. Tears flowed unabated as she berated herself for ruining their chances to be adopted after recalling the way the guy's smile at Katsu, turned into a frown for her.

Makoto's voice reached her. He'd asked Katsu to remember his manners and asked the guy to 'please excuse them'. This made her squeeze her eyes shut and softly whisper "I'm sorry" over and over. She'd ruined it for him. For both of them. Her brother was trying to fix things, but it was too late. Shizu felt someone sit beside her. She knew it was Mako even before he spoke. He was always there for her. Always. And how did she repay him?...

He spoke soothing words as he rubbed her back. 'It's fine, please don't cry' he assured her, and a sob was her reply. No it wasn't okay! The guy would walk away for sure. The caretakers would give up on them because of her. They'd get separated. She'd be all alone, just like in her dreams. "I'm sorry" she squeaked.

The sound of an unknown voice reached her ears and she froze in terror. She'd stopped breathing and her eyes widened under the pillow as she realized the man had walked over to the couch. -You don't have to call me Daddy-, were the words she'd heard. Her grip on the pillow tightened as she processed what he said. She thought the man was addressing just her. There was a stabbing pain in her heart as she imagined the next words being 'I won't be adopting you!'. She stiffened as panic set in. She was about to beg for him to at least consider her brothers, when he spoke again, much closer this time.

-My name is Nikolai Maksim. I'm not sure what the caretakers told you about me- The man was saying as she felt him kneel next to her. But it wasn't what he was saying. It was his tone. The voice was soft and gentle. Something she'd initially missed. Shizuko realized he was not angry or disgusted. And he was talking to all of them, not just her. She visibly looked to just thaw and melt as her body relaxed. She took a breath as he continued. -But you can call me Nik if you want- The man divulged.

Katsu's voice chimed in, and it was a welcome distraction. She needed a moment to get herself together and Katsu's questions of him being the daddy, though it brought a pang of something to her heart, gave her a moment to wipe her face on the pillow and turn her head slightly to allow a single amber orb to peek at the man through honey brown hair. His features were calm and relaxed. His smile further relaxed her. -We play now?- Her younger brother asked of the man, and Shizu warmed a little. Katsu glanced at her, and she hid her face again. She felt his little hand pat her shoulder. His adorable baby talk followed as he copied Mako in soothing her and asked if she was ok. His attempt at her name always brought a smile to her lips. "Thithy" he called her. Shizu sniffled and turned her head so a single amber orb looked at her little brother. A swipe of her hand pushed her honey brown hair from in front of her face. He held out his coloring book to her. She knew how much he loved to color. The fact that he was offering it to her.... She warmed again.

-Take. Make Thithy bettah- He said to her. What an angel. She turned her head to face him and smiled, even though she knew her tear soaked face must look the sight. "I'm okay, Kit-Kat" She replied softly. It was more of a croak, really. She was still choked up. "You color one for me, k?" She asked in reply.

Her eyes glanced up at Nik as he spoke again. He wanted to get to know her better?... no, not just her, he was talking to all of them. She was sure of it. Her eyes shifted to the hand he extended. Shizuko slowly sat up and her smile faded to something more neutral. She'd forgotten all about her fears. Shizu glanced at Makoto. She held his gaze for a moment as if waiting for some sort of acknowledgement that it was okay to continue.

'Manners' she thought, remembering Mako's words from earlier. Her head turned once more and amber eyes met blue ones as Shizu's cheeks warmed in embarrassment at her earlier behavior. More tears welled and she looked away. She knew she was a mess right now. Not cute at all!. She wiped at her eyes and did her best to sit properly and quickly smooth down her dress. Her fingers brushed her bangs behind her ear. Amber eyes looked at blue ones again. "I-I'd like that very much, Mr. Nik" She said respectfully. Her voice was a bit loud and shaky, but it couldn't be helped. She'd been crying a minute earlier. Shizuko hadn't ignored his hand. That was just something she felt her brother should address. Men shook hands. Cute girls curtsied or hugged, though she was not ready for the hug thing yet, and she'd missed her chance at the curtsy. She just didn't trust her legs right now. She glanced at her big brother briefly. She was still looking for his approval. 'Name! You forgot your name, stupid!' She thought suddenly. Shizu's eyes met Nik's again, and it was obvious she was a bundle of nerves still. She blushed, her mind going blank.

"Sh-Shizuko!," She blurted out. It was no use. She was so nervous she couldn't think. Shizu closed her eyes. Took a deep calming breath, and opening her eyes, she tried one more time. "I'm Shizuko Asuna Nakahara" She corrected herself. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Nik" She finished in a more normal tone. She tried, but couldn't manage to smile for him, though she really, really wanted to make up for before. Too much had happened for her to even force one. It was obvious she was sincere though. She wanted this to work. She wanted him to like her. Her lips parted slightly. 'please like me' she pleaded in her mind. Her bottom lip trembled, but the words never vocalized.


Nikolai Maksim
Katsu Nakahara
@Makoto Nakahara

[Makoto Nakahara]

lay me down

A small hand moved in circles over his sister’s back even as golden eyes watched the man and his younger brother through side-ways glances. His stomach was still uncomfortably tight, he hated the feeling. This whole situation was not exactly what he had imagined it to be. He had known Katsu wouldn’t have a problem with their new…. father. He hadn’t expected Shizuko to have a problem with him either. Both of his siblings were much more confident and social than he had ever been. And he had never known Shizuko to cry so much. Perhaps she was scared too. She wasn’t usually afraid of anything, though…

He sighed softly, “Shizu, please.” He mumbled, watching out of the corner of his eye as the man stood again and ruffled Katsu’s hair. His younger brother’s hand would be taken thereafter, and the man moved across the room toward them. Unconsciously, Makoto held his breath. He didn’t know what was about to happen, or what was going to be said. The man was being gentle and kind toward Katsu, so he could infer that he wasn’t angry and they weren’t in trouble, but the twisting in his stomach refused to stop.

His hand came to a stop, still resting against his sister’s back as the man crouched down before them. Makoto’s facial expression, or lack thereof, was stony at best. His golden eyes appeared to be slightly dull, refusing to hint at the whirring of thoughts that were going on behind them. He didn’t know how he was supposed to make his face look in this moment. Smiling seemed wrong, frowning seemed wrong. The only thing that gave away his anxiety were the fingers that picked incessantly at the knee of his pants.

They didn’t have to call him ‘Daddy’ and his name was Nikolai Maksim. His voice had a funny tilt to it that Makoto had learned was called an ‘accent’. His parents had accents, and apparently he and his siblings had them too. This man’s accent wasn’t like theirs, though. Makoto was pretty sure one of the girls he’d heard at recess had a similar accent…

Golden eyes shot to Katsu once again as his brother made himself heard. Almost imperceptibly, his lips twitched into a disapproving frown. He couldn’t get over his younger brother calling this man ‘daddy’, he simply couldn’t. It was wrong. Fingers curled into a small fist as he fought with himself. He wasn’t supposed to be angry at his siblings, not ever! He was supposed to take care of them. It wasn’t Katsu’s fault that he didn’t understand… it wasn’t his fault… it wasn’t his fault…

It didn’t matter how many times he told himself, he still felt angry. He watched the exchange between his siblings with a detached air. Normally such a thing would have made him feel better, but it didn’t. He watched as that hand was extended toward himself and Shizuko, and he waited for her to take it… but then she didn’t. He considered her out of the corner of his eye for the briefest of seconds before his much smaller fingers wrapped around the man’s hand and gave it a small shake. His hand retreated immediately thereafter, and his lips remained pressed together as he waited for his sister to finish speaking. “My name is Makoto.” He stated. His voice sounded as distant as he felt, he realized, much too late.

“And my younger brother is Katsu.” As he spoke a second time, his voice had at least a little more tone behind it. None of the irritation he felt toward his brother in that moment leaked through. In fact, his desperation to keep that out of his voice could likely have been what was causing his tone to fall so very flat. “It’s nice to meet you, Nikolai.” He fell silent thereafter, his fingers finally relaxing to begin picking at his pants once again.

Nikolai Maksim