in my bones [LILIYA] ●

[Mischa Zyomin]

Anger had been the first thing the blonde had felt when his phone started ringing at eight in the morning. He had spent the night before out, as he typically did, and he’d barely been asleep for three hours before his phone woke him again. He had answered it ready to verbally rip someone a new asshole only to choke on his words when he realized it was his daughter’s school calling. The anger had been replaced by worry almost instantly. They never called him. They knew she lived with her mother, and Aryanna was the one who received calls from them. And yet apparently his daughter had missed every day of school this week with no notice? He’d been working a lot, but he had actually been planning on spending the weekend with her… though he hadn’t thought he’d need to get her until after school.

Mischa emptied his stomach of its contents at least three times while getting ready. His body was trying to rid itself of all the toxins he had ingested the night before, and no amount of Tylenol could keep the headaches and tremors at bay. Either way, within an hour he had himself presentable. A shower helped ease his stomach enough to make it bearable, his hair was fixed, and eye drops had made the redness in his eyes almost unnoticeable. Thereafter he would quickly drive to the house where his daughter and ex-wife lived. He hadn’t been in it since the divorce. Aryanna insisted, and he saw no real reason to make a problem out of that too.

Well. Until he stepped through the front door. Garbage littered the floor, and it honestly looked like the place hadn’t been cleaned in months. He clenched his jaw, his hands forming fists. He took a deep breath. She was lucky she wasn’t home, very lucky. His daughter was too good to live in this mess, and Aryanna knew he would have hired a house keeper if she had only asked. But of course she wouldn’t have. The tremors in his hands and arms only worsened with his anger, but when he called out his voice was surprisingly soft. “Lily?” His deep tones echoed through the house as he mounted the staircase, walking toward his daughter’s room. Peaking in, he frowned when he didn’t find her there.

“Liliya?” He called again, his worry growing with every step he took. The last couple of times he had seen her, she had seemed a little sick. A fever, some tiredness, and just general achiness and whininess. She was a child, though, and children tended to get sick. He had thought it was nothing to worry about… but if she hadn’t been in school for a week… He shook his head, clearing as he came to a stop outside the upstairs bathroom. The door was closed. He raised his hand, rapping his knuckles against the door. “Are you in there?” He questioned, testing the door to see if it was locked. He pushed it open when he found it wasn’t, stepping through. His blue gaze fell on the blonde head of his daughter immediately, though he kept the worry off his face.

--
Liliya Zyomin

[Liliya Zyomin]

Normally the sound of her father's voice would make Liliya run to him and hug him as tight as she possibly could. She would usually make every moment she had to spend with her father count since she didn't get to spend near as much time with him as she would like. Liliya could hear the door open, she recognized the sound of his footsteps and wanted to run to him. More than anything, she wanted to be held in her daddy's arms and be told that everything was alright, that she was his princess and he would always be there for her. However, Liliya was too miserable to even attempt moving away from the toilet knowing that she might throw up yet again.

Already she had thrown up what little she had eaten for breakfast that morning and was sure that she couldn't possibly vomit anymore. There couldn't possibly be left in her stomach now...could there? That assumption was immediately proven false as once again she hacked up what was left in her stomach. It hurt so much, she wished mommy would come and comfort her but she wouldn't, Liliya knew that. Mommy loved her, but she didn't like to stay when she was sick and she had been making sure that she was eating at least. Not even the chicken broth was able to stay down though and it was clear that Liliya had lost a lot weight as a result. She had been told that it would pass and then she could go back to school but so far Liliya had only felt worse.

By the time her father had reached the bathroom, Liliya was still hacking up the meager contents of her stomach. It just hurt so much and it didn't help knowing that her dad was just a few feet away. That didn't make sense to her though...hadn't she just been wishing for mommy to come? Daddy didn't need to see her like this, she didn't want him to worry. Princesses didn't get sick after all, they all got better when their prince came for them. Following that logic, she should be feeling better now that Daddy was here but that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon.

Finally the hacking stopped and Liliya was allowed at least a few moments where she was able to catch her breath. Easier said than done when the gasping breaths were mixed with sobs that shook her small frame. "Daddy..."Liliya whimpered once she had caught her breath enough to at least acknowledge that he was there. Daddy was here, he would take her and make her feel better...that was what happened to all the princesses after all. Violet orbs looked up to meet green ones when it seemed like she wasn't going to throw up anymore. She felt weak, exhausted really and right then Liliya wanted nothing more than to feel her father's arms around her and hear him say that she was going to be alright. No doubt she looked about as miserable as she felt but it was hard to smile when every part of her just ached. That was ok though, Daddy would make everything better, Liliya was sure of it.

~~~

Mischa Zyomin

[Mischa Zyomin]

The hacking noises his daughter was making would reach him right as he stepped through the door. There had been a time in his life, more than ten years ago, when sounds like that would have made him gag. There had been a time when the smell of puke, light as it was currently, would have caused him to retch. Those times had passed with the birth of his daughter, though. Children were messy, especially in their younger years, and a little puke was nothing compared to what he’d had to clean up in the past. Not that he had ever minded. He had always loved Liliya, ever since he looked into those perfect purple eyes. Nothing had ever been too much for her, and seeing her so sick made him instantly forget his own sickness. His stomach roiled, but in an entirely different way. It only took a glance for him to realize she had lost weight. Changes like that were noticed easily by him, because he didn’t see her nearly as often as he should have.

Seeing his daughter gasping and sobbing on the floor, hearing that whimper, it hurt. It hurt in a special way that only she could cause. Mischa would have killed for his daughter without a second thought. He already had. He’d killed the man he’d seen as a father for the greater part of his life, to keep her safe. He didn’t regret it, he never would, but this wasn’t something he could take care of so easily. If he could have been sick for her, he would have. He would have taken any illness from her. If the illness was something he could fight or kill, he would have done so. But it wasn’t. It was something she had to deal with by herself, and he hated it. He hated the thought that Lily had to be alone in some things. It was his job to protect her, and it always would be.

He didn’t allow the frown that was trying to form on his features to come. No. Instead he smiled reassuringly, taking a couple steps into the bathroom so he was closer to her. Thereafter, he would squat down in front of her, gently brushing her hair out of her face. “Lily, baby, what’s wrong? Your teacher told me you haven’t been to school this week.” His tone was gentle, smooth, comforting. His fingers moved to cup her face. His hand was so large in comparison to her head. He could still remember how tiny she’d been as a baby. She was so much bigger now, but still so very small in comparison to him. “Where is Mommy?” He went on to question. His anger at her mother had not been forgotten. Liliya should have already been taken to the doctor. Damn that woman.

--
Liliya Zyomin

[Liliya Zyomin]

Liliya watched as Daddy closed the distance between them and knelt before her. The simple touch was comforting and Liliya had to fight to keep the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes at bay. Daddy didn't need to see her crying, not now. He was going to make everything better, he was going to take her away and find some magic cure and make it all better just like what happened with every other princess in the fairy tales. The gentle question about what was wrong was simple enough but Liliya couldn't even answer that because the tears threatened to choke off her voice.

Instead of answering, Liliya wrapped her arms around Daddy's neck as tight as she could. Her entire form was shaking as the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back streamed down her cheeks. She had been so scared when Mommy didn't wake up and check on her, part of Liliya wondered if something had happened but that didn't matter. Daddy was here and in his arms she felt safe and warm, something she had never felt when her mother was around. "Mommy said I needed to stay home,"Liliya whimpered after a few moments,"It hurts Daddy..."she continued, holding onto him even tighter if that was even possible.

Daddy's next question earned a slight shrug from Liliya as she wiped away her tears and looked at him. "I think she's sleeping still. She doesn't like hearing me when I'm sick,"Liliya explained matter-of-factly,"I didn't hear her come home before bedtime again last night,"she continued, whimpering a little as she remembered how scared that had made her. She had held Sunshine, her passive and favorite teddy bear, so close to her last night to keep the nightmares at bay. Honestly, if Sunshine hadn't been around, there was little doubt that she would've tried to call Daddy last night just to be sure that there were no monsters hiding anywhere. Sunshine had said she chased them away so it was safe.

"Sunshine chased the monsters away though. She said it was ok so I could sleep until I couldn't anymore,"Liliya explained, doing her best to smile reassuringly. She didn't want Daddy to worry about her, even if it had been scary when Mommy hadn't come home until really late. "I'm not scared anymore though, Daddy,"Liliya reassured as if that wasn't obvious already, yes she had been scared before but there was no reason to be afraid in Daddy's arms. He always made her feel better.

~~~

Mischa Zyomin

[Mischa Zyomin]

gotta get your fix

Blue-green eyes stared into the eyes of his daughter. They were the only part of her, really, that she had gotten from her mother. She had his blonde hair, his pale skin, even his height. He’d noticed that she was, and always had been, taller than her peers. Even before she had gotten sick, though, she had always been much thinner than he ever had been. In fact, at her age, Mischa had been slightly chubby. By the time he was thirteen all of that had been turned to muscle, which was probably what enabled him to be such a large man in the first place. Either way, that didn’t matter right now. As much as she tried to hide it, he could see the tears welling in her eyes. It caused his stomach to twist, which was rather dangerous with as sick as he was already feeling.

As those tiny arms closed around his neck, however, he wrapped his arms around her automatically, holding her close. She was so tiny, his arms could have wrapped around her twice, maybe even three times with as much weight as she had lost. It felt even more obvious with her in his arms. She was so frail. “Daddy’s gonna take you to the doctor.” He answered softly, his deep voice a mere murmur. “You’ll feel better then.” He reassured her. She would get medicine, she would stay at his house until she got better – perhaps forever.

Mischa wasn’t entirely innocent when it came to his daughter’s condition, however, and this was something he was trying to ignore. His own addictions had often come before her, as he reassured himself that his ex-wife would take care of her… even when he knew deep down that the woman wouldn’t – at least not how she was supposed to. He had lived with her for over ten years. He knew how she was. And yet, even for his daughter, even for the only person in the world he loved, he couldn’t quite kick the addictions he’d harbored for years and years. It was a wonder he was still alive, honestly.

Her answers, however, did little to quell his anger. In fact, they only added to it. He kept it off of his face expertly as she leaned back to look at him, but he could feel the muscles in his arms twitching. He wanted to strangle that woman. She was lucky to still be alive anyway. It had only been the thought of how hard Lily would take her mother’s death that had kept her alive this long. And it was the fact that he was holding her in his arms right now that kept him from finding the woman and taking care of her once and for all. He had never killed anyone with Lily around, and certainly he didn’t need to start with her mother – no matter how badly he wanted to.

“I see.” He murmured. He wanted to tell Lily that she should have called him, but what good would that have done? He couldn’t even remember last night. Hell, for all he knew she had tried to call him. Dammit. His jaw clenched for the briefest of moments before he smiled a bit. “Let’s get you dressed, huh? You’re gonna stay with me for a while.” He stood up slowly, arranging his arms around her to hold her comfortably as he walked toward her bedroom.

Liliya Zyomin